How do i stop my controlling ex ?

After 10 years my ex is still controlling me through my 14 year old & she resently went to live with him & isnt talking to me now because i tried to stick to my princables? Im so warn out, he has a new family/bird so why cant he just piss off??? Help..what can i do? i have to keep eatin humble pie just to stop loosing contact with my daughter & she has been convinced that im wrong by him (plus very impressionable at that age) he could mentally abuse me so she has no hope...But find it difficult to not disclike her at same time because she is speaking to me like he does. do i just have to wait & hope she sees him for what he is...it took me 5 years...help